From the Mind of Drake

Drake Nelson, Humor Writer

Is There Anything We Need to Know About Co-Lin? (Absolutely.)

  • If you’re new to Co-Lin, I would start out by making friends with a wonderful young lady named Brenda Smith. She is the Dean of Students and can help you get into your room if you lock your keys in your dorm. Trust me. I would know.
  • Secondly, to you newbies at Co-Lin, there are a few places you need to know on campus, such as Smith Hall and the Dow Young building. The library wouldn’t be a bad place to know either, but who needs that thing? Oh yeah, and the gym.
  • Now, to the people already coming to Co-Lin, I must make it a point that leggings are DEFINITELY NOT considered pants. Like they’re not even close to being pants. I mean, if leggings are considered pants, then Speedos are considered shorts and I don’t think an explanation is needed for that!
  • One thing that I really don’t understand is the girls that walk around in the spring and summer in shorts that you can’t even see. I mean, they wear shorts that might be three inches long, then an extra large shirt. Why even wear the shorts in the first place? Believe me, all the guys wonder, “Does she even have any shorts on under that?” and if that’s all the guys think about, then we might have a problem in and of itself.
  • Lastly, please, people. Don’t be that person to walk around campus with your headphones in. Nothing can be worse than having an entire conversation with somebody and then realizing they have headphones in and heard nothing you said. Maybe I am the only one to have had that happen to me. I mean, are you listening to music, or do you just not feel like talking to anybody, so you pretend to be jamming out? Who knows?

Well, thanks for reading and God bless you!